


Give me that peace of mind, I’ll give you everything

by CliffordAffliction



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Calum is a bit of a dick I suppose, Chapter Fic, Kissing, M/M, More tags to be added, Soccer player!Ashton, Soccer player!Calum, and so patient with Michael, ashton is such a sweetheart, bless his heart, handjobs, he thinks he's only good for being used, insecure!Michael, sexual favors, there's quite a few original male characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:19:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CliffordAffliction/pseuds/CliffordAffliction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael does sexual favors for money, Calum is his biggest customer, Luke is Michael’s best friend who is clueless of it all and Ashton comes into Michael’s life at exactly the right time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thesoulsailor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoulsailor/gifts).



> The title doesn’t really have anything to do with the story but it’s lyrics from the song Catch Fire by Periphery which is basically all I listened to while writing this cause I’m addicted to that whole album but especially that song. This idea came to me about a month ago and since I loved writing the Mashton in Lost Hearts I figured I would write a strictly Mashton fic. I’m super fucking excited to finally upload the first chapter so let me know how you guys like it! Btw the original character in this story named Jack is based off of my high school crush (his name was Brandon) lmao I know I’m lame but he just had a really beautiful look to him (Like he’d walk past me in the hall and I’d literally lose my breath) and I wanted the OC to look like him. Enjoy! (Also don't worry I will tell you in the notes when the rape/non con warning comes into play but I suppose there are non con like situations through out this fic so if that kind of stuff makes you uncomfortable I advise you not to read this fic)

The hot air was blowing Michael’s hair that wasn’t under his backwards black snapback as he stood only a step behind Luke in line. Luke was bouncing on his heels with how excited he was for the game and Michael was used to his excitement by now; it was the only reason Michael even liked going to the games. Michael looked to the, only temporarily, empty field and he let out a sigh when he remembered the real reason he had to come to these games. He thought about how Calum was probably already on his way to the upper level bathroom right now and Michael tapped his foot as he began to feel anxious. There was only two people in front of them in the line but Michael still had to get Luke seated down in the bleachers and then he would have to probably run all the way up to the school to make it on time.

“Who we playing tonight, Lukey?” Michael asked as he still looked frantically around, not really focusing on his friend in front of him but he could tell that Luke turned around to face him.

“We’re playing Canary Bay and we haven’t been able to beat them since three years ago” Luke said in a worried tone and Michael forced himself to look back at the boy, knowing that he owed him his full attention.

“Well then we better fucking win right?” Michael smirked and Luke smiled wide as he nodded quickly before turning back around.

The breezed seemed to pick up a bit but Michael still felt himself sweating in his black skinny jeans. It was always so humid and it seemed like Michael never got a break from the heat. Even in his own house they couldn’t afford air conditioning so they had to make up for it by having a million fans around the house. Michael even had one that sat right on his end table so that it could blow on his face at night, not to mention that he needed the sound of a fan in order to sleep.

He let out a breath as he looked up the darkening sky and finally it was their turn to buy their tickets.

Michael only let himself relax once they were inside the fencing and walking towards the bleachers. He watched as Luke practically skipped on the damp grass as he looked all over like he didn’t come here basically all the time. Michael knew that they only had a few home games during every season but to Michael it seemed like they went on constantly. Luke was always sad when they had away games while Michael was always relieved. He knew he wasn’t trapped in the deal he had with Calum but for some reason it felt like he was and he started to bite his lip when he looked back to the locker room where he could almost hear the loud voices of the football players.

They began to walk up the steps of the bleachers and Michael scoped all over, taking it upon himself to find them a seat and Luke just looked out into the field looking like a kid at a candy store.

“Right up here, Luke” Michael said loud enough for the boy to hear him over the loud voices and announcer doing sound checks. He was pointing to the very top of the bleachers, right next to the announcer box and Luke smiled as he began to jog up the stairs towards the spot.

Michael looked all around at the people as he followed close behind Luke up the stairs and he actually hated having to look around at all the happy people. Sometimes it seemed like to Michael that he was the only truly unhappy person in the world. He knew he was over exaggerating because there was obviously people way worse off than him but when he was feeling as depressed as he was it was easy to think that he was alone with how he was feeling.

He watched as Luke sat down and leaned against the fence, already looking like he was ready for the game to start. Michael just stayed standing though, knowing he had to leave soon anyway.  
When Luke finally looked at Michael his smile died down completely and Michael hated how he had that affect on Luke.

“Are you ever gonna tell me where you go before home games?” Luke asked so softly that Michael almost just told him right then and there; but he couldn’t. Michael just bit his lip and looked away for a few seconds before leaning his arm on the top of the fence and looking down at Luke.

“I’ll be back in a couple minutes” and Luke nodded, he knew that Michael was only ever gone for 15 minutes max but it was that he didn’t know where Michael was going that killed him and Michael knew it. They were best friends since grade school, told each other everything, but this was the one thing that Michael never shared with Luke; he just couldn’t.

“I shouldn’t be worried, should I?” Luke was speaking in a nervous voice though like he was already worried and Michael shook his head sternly.

“No, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not in danger”

“Okay” Luke nodded and looked down to his lap. Michael took this moment to ruffle the boy’s hair and quickly turn around to leave. It was always hard for him to leave when Luke was looking at him with those puppy dog eyes.

Michael didn’t turn around as he walked down the metal stairs but he could feel Luke’s stare on his back.

Luckily the air seemed to cool down a bit, well for Florida standards, as he walked across the large grass filled area in front of the school. He looked at the locker room again and this time there was two players resting outside of the brick building as they seemed to be in a deep conversation. Michael knew Calum wasn’t in that building but he wished that he was. Maybe Calum would decide that he didn’t want to keep up with their deal anymore and Michael wouldn’t have to leave his best friend behind to do such sinful things anymore. Maybe he would actually be able to enjoy going to games for once and not have to worry about what he had to do before the game.

Michael knew that none of that was true though when he stepped into the dimly lit school and he could actually feel Calum’s presence here. He looked up at the ceiling, as if he could see Calum through the tiles, as he sped up his walking and was finally coming to the door of the stairway.  
He hummed as he climbed the stairs as he just hoped Calum could hear him so he would stop being worried that Michael wasn’t going to show up;

Michael always showed up though. He needed this just as much as Calum did but just for an entirely different reason.

Michael felt himself smoothing his plain black shirt down and fixing his hair a bit as he approached the bathroom and actually felt himself calming down now. He just hoped that Calum wasn’t mad. If he was mad then Michael might not get what he needed and he didn’t even want to think about that. He sped up once again and soon he was swinging the door open. He froze in the doorway when he seen that Calum was indeed already in here and usually Michael always beat him here, wanting to be on time because that was just how he was.

“You’re late” Calum’s stern and clearly angry voice bounced against the walls in large bathroom as he leaned against the long row of sinks that were adjacent to the blue colored stalls.

“Yeah…” Michael rubbed the back of his neck but tried to keep it cool. He couldn’t let Calum know that he was nervous “The ticket line was insane”

“Let’s just hurry this along” Calum spoke coldly again, like he always did, and then he was pushing himself off the sink “I have to be back in the locker room in five minutes” Michael just simply nodded and fast walked over to Calum as the boy was already beginning to unzip his jeans. He was actually happy that Calum wanted to be quick about this because Michael always wanted to hurry through these things along and now he could actually get away with being sloppy about it.

Calum’s jeans were now pooling on the tile flooring and Michael quickly got on his knees and they were already hurting but he knew he had to push through the pain because he would be down here for at least a couple minutes. It was times like these that Michael was happy that he was so good at his job to where he knew this wouldn’t take long with how skilled he was with his mouth.

Calum cleared his throat and Michael realized he was zoning out when he looked in front of him and seen that Calum’s dick was only inches away from his face. Michael took a deep breath, savoring air while he had it, before he was leaning forward and just taking the tip of Calum’s dick in his mouth and sucking softly on it. He was going to try and ease his way into it like he always did but suddenly Calum was stepping forward and pushing almost entirely in Michael’s mouth. Usually it didn’t even seem like Michael had a gag reflex but he couldn’t help but gag a bit and then he heard Calum moaning at the same time.

Michael took a deep breath through his nose before going down even more before he started to bob his head in a fast motion, just wanting to get Calum to his climax as fast as he could. Michael hoped this would be some sort of new record of his.

Sometimes it worried Michael how disgusted he felt while he was doing these type of things. He knew at the end of the day it was just business but Michael still felt like he should be even a little turned on while he had a dick in his mouth, considering that he was gay, but he never was. He never got hard while doing any of these sexual acts and it really worried him. It wasn’t like any of these guys cared about him but people had one night stands all the time and they still got turned on. Maybe Michael just wasn’t a one night stand type of guy.

Michael gagged again when Calum forced himself further down Michael’s mouth and then he was pushing Michael’s hat off and gripping painfully hard on his hair as he moved his head back and forward instead of Michael doing the work. At this point Michael actually enjoyed doing the work because at least then he wouldn’t be in pain like he was now.

His throat was actually started to hurt with how hard Calum was thrusting into him and his scalp felt like it was bleeding with how hard Calum’s grip was on his hair. Michael gagged every time Calum’s dick went down his throat and he only felt a little bit of comfort when Calum was pulling back but it only lasted a second before Calum was pushing down his throat once again. The only sound in the bathroom was Calum’s loud and deep grunting as he breathed heavily. Michael just couldn’t wait until this was over with how in pain he was right now.

He could even feel his face heating up with how little air he was able to get with Calum’s thick dick filling up his mouth and going so far down his throat that it was cutting off his air supply.

With how long Michael has been doing this he should be used to guy’s being so rough with him but he wasn’t. He hated it with everything he had and it actually made him sick to his stomach to think about how badly he was treated. He quickly pushed away that thought now because he was already feeling sick with how much he had gagged in these past few minutes. The last thing he ever wanted to do was throw up all over Calum’s shoes because honestly he felt like Calum might actually kick his ass if he did that.

Michael thanked his lucky stars when he heard Calum’s loud moans and whimpers filling the bathroom because he knew Calum was close and he wouldn’t have to suffer like this for much longer.

For some reason Michael opened his eyes, he never opened his eyes while blowing someone because he always hated what he seen, and he was surprised when Calum was already looking down at him as the dark haired boy tensed his jaw and started to do fast and rougher thrusts but they weren’t as deep as the others so Michael was thankful. Michael closed his eyes again and felt like he was actually going to pass out with how bad the top of his head hurt where Calum’s death grip was still pulling at his hair.

“Yes” Calum moaned out and Michael only flicked his eyes open for a second to see Calum’s head tilted back as he clenched his eyes shut. Michael was quickly closing his eyes again though “Fuck yes” and Michael clenched his eyes shut even more with how filthy Calum’s words sounded; it was making Michael get that sick feeling again. When Calum’s voice sounded so rough and filthy like that it made Michael just felt so used. He was being used and he was aware of that but Michael didn’t need the extra reminder.

Sometimes he liked to pretend that the guy’s he was with actually cared about him; that they actually gave as shit about him and loved him but it wasn’t easy to picture that when Calum was putting him through such physical pain right now.

Michael got knocked out of his own thoughts when Calum was actually letting out a growl and Michael knew what was coming next. He could feel the white substance shoot down his throat and it was only then that Calum’s grip on his hair began to loosen a bit and Michael felt like he could breathe a little bit better. Michael made sure to swallow every bit of it and even licked around Calum’s dick a little bit, knowing that Calum liked the oversensitive touch for a few seconds.

“Alright alright” Calum shot out quickly and Michael pulled off like he had been burned. Calum was then letting out a grunt and retracting his hand from Michael’s hair. Michael felt a million times better as soon as Calum’s touch was gone and he leaned back on his knees as he grabbed his hat off the floor and began to slowly stand up, he’s done it too fast before and almost ended up falling over so he was more careful now.

Calum was pulling his boxers and pants up once Michael stood up and he already couldn’t wait to leave. The bathroom felt so stuffy and awful and Michael moved his fingers against the side of leg as he tried to stay calm.

He watched as Calum took his wallet out and Michael felt even better once he knew he could leave soon.

Calum was then handing four $10 bills to Michael and Michael pocketed them just as fast as Calum got them out. This was always how they did the paying part of it; Calum wouldn’t ever make eye contact with Michael when he handed the money over like he was just as ashamed about doing this as Michael was but Michael really wasn’t sure if he was or not.

Despite having this arrangement with Calum for over a year he really didn’t know much about the boy (or he at least wasn’t familiar with the person that Calum was now. Past Calum he knew but Michael was positive that that Calum wasn’t ever coming back), not to mention that Calum was just a very hard person to read. He always had the same stone cold look on his face like he didn’t care about anything so maybe he wasn’t ashamed about giving Michael money for sexual favors.

Michael only looked up from the floor when he seen Calum walk past him, without another word, and the he was swinging the door open and not looking back.

Michael let out a breath after the boy left and he walked up to the same sink that Calum had been resting against and he put both of his hands on the edge of it as he looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was of course a mess and his face was still a rosy color from his lack of oxygen for so long. Michael swore that he was actually going to pass out and he really couldn’t believe that he lived through that.

Calum was always rough on him, everyone was, but usually he was never that bad. Michael hoped that Calum being that rough on him didn’t become a regular thing because he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle that.

He turned the water on, not being able to look at himself any longer, and splashed his face a few times, hoping that the redness would go away a bit.  
He knew if he faced Luke like this then the boy would for sure ask questions and Michael really didn’t need that. He just wanted to enjoy the rest of the game with his best friend and he knew that he could now that the Calum thing was out of the way; that was until the next home game and then Michael would be right back here in this bathroom doing the same thing.

He let out a breath and attempted to fix his hair before putting his hat back on again and then he was walking out of the empty bathroom without thinking anymore about what had happened in there.

*

Michael felt so much better once he got outside and he could already hear the announcer and the cheers coming from the bleachers. He smiled to himself when he thought about Luke standing up and cheering at the players like he always did.

After he quickly flashed his stamp on his hand to the person in the booth in front of the fence he was making his way closer to the field and he could see the game was already starting as only a few players were on standing in black and gold uniforms in front of the bench and the rest were out on the field as a person from their team had the ball and was heading towards the goal. Whoever the boy was he was fast as hell and Michael watched the boy for a few seconds with raised eyebrows before he was stepping onto the steps of the bleachers. He had to squint a bit as he looked all along the top of the bleachers, not really remembering exactly where he left Luke.

Suddenly there cheering was erupting loudly and Michael caught a brief glance of everyone jumping out of their seats before he was stopping and turning his head to the side to see the fast boy from before now walking away from the goal with a huge smile on his face and Michael watched as the boy flicked his eyes up to the bleachers for only a second before he was walking towards the bench and drenching his entire face in water then shaking his hair. Michael rolled his eyes away, wondering why the hell he even looked at wavy haired boy for as long as he did.

Michael honestly couldn’t even remember the last time he had a crush or even had any interest in talking to anyone besides Luke so he was confused as to why his eyes seemed to be glued to the goal scorer but he just brushed it off as nothing when he spotted Luke sipping at a pop as he leaned against the fence.

Michael began walking up the stairs and Luke spotted him too once he got closer and the boy instantly moved over to make room for Michael as he put the lid on his pop.

“That was quicker than usual” Luke said with a chuckle and by the way he had this grin on his face Michael swore that his best friend knew exactly what he had been doing but there was no way; Luke was way too innocent to even suspect Michael of doing such a thing. Michael just nodded in response and tried his best to smile; not knowing what to say back then he took a seat next to the boy and the cold steel bleachers seemed to lower his temperature a bit.

“I see we’re winning” Michael said plainly as he glanced to at the scoreboard.

“Yeah we’ve got a pretty good lead right now…I have a really good feeling about tonight” Luke said as he excitedly bit at his lip and never took his eyes away from the field and Michael smiled. Michael didn’t care about any of the players out there but just for Luke’s sake he hoped their team won tonight since he wanted it to happen so badly. With how pumped up Luke got before the games you’d think that he actually played and Michael squinted at the bright lights before looking at the side of Luke’s face.

“Have you ever thought about trying out for the team?” Michael asked because they’ve never really talked about it before but he hoped Luke wouldn’t turn this around and go in a direction that Michael didn’t want to go. Michael swallowed hard when Luke got a smile on his face and he had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

“Have _you_?” Luke said now looking at him and Michael let out an annoyed grumble before leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees as he rested his chin on top of his hands. He could still feel Luke’s eyes on him but he refused to look back, hoping that the boy would drop the topic “Giving me the ole silent treatment huh?” and Michael had to force himself to not crack a smile at Luke’s cheeky tone. Instead he just nodded, still not wanting to talk. He flicked his eyes to the left side of the field and his eyes automatically landed on the wavy haired boy again as he seemed to be leading his team towards the goal, once again. He was zipping past the other players like it was nothing and even from here Michael could tell how concentrated he was

“Come on…you’ve got this” Michael heard Luke say to himself as he was now chewing on his nails.

Wavy haired boy scored once again and this time instead of getting a huge smile on his face he let out a breath and kept his eyes on the ground even as the other players patted him on the shoulder and ruffled his hair. Michael got upset with himself once again for paying so much attention to the boy and He made himself look away. When his eyes landed on Calum instead anded he let out another sigh and just looked down at his shoes instead.

Sure, it might be normal for him to keep looking at the curly haired boy considering that he has been the person who is making all the scores but on any other occasion Michael wouldn’t even be paying attention to the game so he had no idea why he was now.

“Michael are you okay?” Luke asked softly and Michael’s heart broke a little “You’ve been really weird tonight”

“Fine” Michael put his head up and yawned, trying to play it off as something else “Just tired” he could tell by the way that Luke was still staring at him that he didn’t fully believe Michael but luckily he didn’t push it anymore. Michael let his back fall against the fence as he stared up at the sky, begging his eyes not to betray him and end up back on the curly haired boy.

*

The game seem to go on forever so when the game finally ended Michael was standing up as soon as the players were starting to get off the field. Their team did win and he stretched his arms over his head as the players excitedly kept jumping up and down and seeming like it was the best day of their life. Michael moved his eyes away from them before he ended up looking at someone that he didn’t want to look at and then he was looking over at Luke who was now standing up as well and finishing his orange pop.

“The team always goes to Bdubs after they win games. Can we go?” Luke said as he put on his puppy dog eyes and he actually started pouting. Michael let a small smile spread on his lips and looked away for a few seconds. It was really the last thing he wanted to do considering how miserable he had been during the game. All Michael really wanted to do was go home and eat junk food until he passed out at around 4am like he always did but here Luke was…looking hopeful as ever and Michael couldn’t help but give in.

“I guess I’m a little hungry” Michael mumbled truthfully and Luke looked just as excited as he did when the team scored their winning goal.

*

After the crowd from the game started to simmer down Luke all of a sudden said that he had to go to the bathroom just as they were coming off the bleachers and Michael just nodded and said that he’d wait for him outside. Michael didn’t end up following Luke to wait for him right outside the bathroom like he usually did and instead he walked right up to the fence that was surrounding the field and looked out into it as it was still lighted.

It was empty of players now but if Michael tried hard enough he could still picture one of them still kicking the ball around; that certain someone being the curly haired boy he hadn’t been unable to keep his eye off of. Michael let out a huff and again didn’t know why he kept thinking about him and also was confused as to why he couldn’t say his name in his head.

His name was Ashton and everyone knew his name in the school. He was without a doubt one of the most popular guys in school.  
Sure it was Ashton’s first year here at their school but Michael still found it strange how he had never even once ran across the boy in the hallways or lunch.

Michael did tend to ignore everyone that wasn’t Luke though so he figured that could be it. Now that he had noticed Ashton though he feared that he would see him a lot in the hallways and not be able to stop himself from staring because he knew that had been his problem for the entirety of the game tonight and he was still mad at himself about that.

Even if Ashton was gay and even if he wasn’t totally out of Michael’s league Michael still knew that he could never date when he was in the situation that he was in.

He knew for sure that no one in their right mind would ever want to date someone that did sexual favors for money; Michael knew he for sure wouldn’t want to. It wasn’t like he could stop it either because he had dug himself into a deep hole. He had people that counted on him, like Calum, and plus Michael knew he needed the money; after all, he needed to pay rent especially with how his roommate Max was now jobless and Michael’s income was basically the only income they had other than Max’s parents who would send him money to help out.

Michael was always jealous of his roommate when it came to that aspect. He wished that his parents would help him out but then again he wouldn’t have been forced to move out if they did give a shit out him.

Michael snapped back into his reality when he heard a door slamming shut and he turned around expecting Luke to be coming out of the bathroom. Michael let out a breath when it wasn’t Luke and then he turned back to the field.

For some reason Luke always took a while in the bathroom but Michael just knew that he moved slow when it came to certain things.  
His eyes landed on the soccer ball that was still in the middle of the field and he could almost picture himself running with it like the players had been doing just a few short minutes ago.

He didn’t even know what provoked him but soon he was hopping the fence with ease and walking over the rough ground of the blue and red track before stepping onto the soft green grass.

He spent a few seconds just looking at the ball almost as if it was hot lava and he knew he shouldn’t touch it but then he was feeling drawn to it and he knew the same feeling from before, that made him jump the fence, was washing over him as he touched the ball with just the tip of his shoe. It was such a foreign touch but yet so familiar at the same time. He hadn’t touched a soccer ball in years and he smiled when he thought about how much soccer used to mean to him.

Soon Michael found himself backing up a few steps away from the ball then he was looking at the goal ahead of him. The goal wasn’t close to him but it didn’t seem far either and Michael felt himself coming into his element as he backed up one more step before jogging forward again. His foot hit the ball and he watched as it soared fast through the air before making a loud sound as it hit the netting of the goal.

Michael felt himself actually smiling because kicking that ball felt great and he couldn’t remember the last time he felt happiness like that. When he was young soccer was his only source of happiness because it was before he became friends with Luke. Something changed for Michael when he was a sophomore though and that was when he got kicked out of his parent’s house and it just all went downhill from there and that was when he lost his joy that he had for soccer; it was when he lost his joy for most things.

There was a loud whistle sound and Michael cranked his neck to the left to see Luke standing by the fence with a huge smile on his face of course; he had been trying to get Michael back into soccer for a while now.

“I bet you can’t do it again” Luke shouted with a smirk as he was leaning both of his arms on the fence and Michael let out a laugh. Luke was just trying to get him to kick the ball again and Michael wasn’t going to fall for it. He had done it once, yeah it had made him happy, but he wasn’t going to do it again. He had more important things to worry about than getting into soccer again.

“I bet I can’t either” he shouted back as he smiled and Luke just frowned at him.  
Michael just shook his head and began walking towards the blond boy who looked so much smaller from where he was standing.

“Oh come on, Michael” Luke whined “Kick the ball around a bit”

“I’m tired” Michael lied “I’m too out of shape now”

“Well maybe you’d be more in shape if you stopped smoking”

“Thanks for the advice” Michael said sarcastically and he got closer to see that Luke was pouting and he let out a sigh “Let’s just get to Bdubs, Luke; I’m hungry” Luke looked defeated at Michael’s words as his shoulders fell and he just turned around and started walking slowly. Michael hopped the fence again and then he jogged to catch up to Luke before throwing an arm around his shoulders and Luke instantly cuddled into his side.

“It just used to make you so happy” Luke mumbled as they were walking into the dark parking lot and Michael automatically brought Luke closer to him out of protective instincts.

“How do you know?” Michael chuckled as he fished his car keys out of his back pocket “We weren’t friends when I still played soccer” and it was true; Luke hadn’t come into Michael’s life until he was falling apart and desperately needing someone other than his waste case of a roommate.

“We weren’t but I remember watching the games and I still remember how happy you looked out there. You were so damn good, Michael” and Luke spoke the last part more quietly and sadly as he looked to the ground.

“Lots of people are good at soccer” Michael said back.

“You’re better” Luke said back and Michael chuckled because Luke was so cute. Luke looked up to Michael like little kids looked up to super heroes and Michael didn’t understand why Luke thought so highly of him because he felt like his life was a complete mess.

“I’m not” Michael mumbled back and he was glad when he was coming to the driver’s side of his jeep.  
Luckily the topic was dropped when they got in the car and Luke was bouncing in his seat as they drove to Bdubs. Buffalo Wild Wings was Luke’s favorite place to eat and Michael felt bad for not bringing him here more often.

The restaurant wasn’t too far away from them since their school wasn’t far from the busy part of town and soon they were pulling into the parking lot.  
Michael recognized a lot of the cars when they pulled in. He seen the pink convertible that belonged to a snotty girl from his biology class, the lifted up orange jeep with big wheels that had a bunch of skateboard brand stickers on the back of it that belonged to this stoner that sat near the window at lunch and then his eyes landed on the brand new black mustang and he signed; that one belonged to Calum. He remembered the time that he gave Calum a last minute blowjob in the back seat of it on the 4th of July last summer.

“Come on, Michael” Luke said excitedly and Michael snapped out of it; realizing that he had been glaring at the car instead of getting out of the car like Luke was. When he started to unbuckle Luke was already shutting his door and standing outside of the car.

Michael looked around the parking lot and he realized that most of the people in his grade would be here and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He was forced to see these kids five days a week and he hated seeing them more than he had to.

It was worth it just to see Luke so happy though; Michael would do anything for his best friend.

Luke was slightly skipping as he was ahead of Michael a bit when they were approaching the restaurant and he looked up at the dark sky and then around the lights that were surrounding the parking lot. The loud sound of the traffic disappeared as soon as they walked into the building and instead was replaced with the sound of loud TV’s blaring sport games. It was the perfect place for the jocks of their school to come and it was why Michael hated it so much.

“How many?” the petite blonde haired waitress said as they were walking in.

“Just two” Michael said dully, not making eye contact with her, as he glanced around at the busy restaurant.

“Right this way” she spoke again and then Michael felt Luke tugging at his arm as they followed her through the main area of the restaurant. The tables surrounding them were all full and Michael tried not to make eye contact with anyone sitting at them, even though he could feel eyes on him.  
Luckily the waitress led them to a booth that was against the window and not in the center of the busy area.

Michael slid into one side and then Luke the other and Michael instantly looked out the window right away while Luke picked up the menu, even though he always ordered the same thing every time they came here; which was boneless honey BBQ chicken with a side of fries. Michael didn’t blame him though because their honey BBQ chicken was to die for. He remembered the first time that he had come here with Max and Max, being the idiot he was, got the hottest sauce possible for his chicken and that day Michael watched his roommate turn into a puddle of tears after he took one bite out of his chicken.

“What’s funny?” Luke suddenly said and Michael realized he was smiling at the memory.

“Just remembering the time I came here with Max and he actually started crying in pain from how hot his chicken was cause he got the hottest sauce”

“Idiot” Luke chuckled before looking down at his menu again “Typical Max though” and Michael just nodded in agreement.

His roommate wasn’t the sharpest tool in the toolbox but he was nice to everyone and wasn’t annoying to be around so Michael kept his around.

He was also the only person that was there for Michael when he got kicked out of his parent’s house. They had both worked at Dominos at the time and Max told Michael that he could stay with him in his shack of a house that was near the beach and Michael had lived with him ever since. Michael and Max ended up getting fired from the pizza place only a month after Michael moved in after they both stayed up all night smoking and then went into work still higher than the hills. That was when Michael got into the business he was in now and he honestly missed the hell out of the pizza place.

When they ordered Michael smiled when Luke ordered exactly what he knew he would order and Michael just ordered the same thing and he began looking around once the waitress walked away.

He spotted some guys from his history class at one of the smaller tables off to the side and one of them even smiled at Michael so he smiled back just to be nice then his face was turning back into a frown as he looked around again.

He looked behind him and seen the big table in the center of the room and immediately he could tell that was where all the soccer players were sat and honestly Michael should have turned around right then and there but he didn’t. He continued to scan his eyes around and his eyes landed on Calum who was in the very middle of the table as he leaned over and stuffed some fries into his mouth. Michael looked away with ease then he was looking around again. He knew exactly who he was looking for but he didn’t want to admit to himself.

Soon his eyes stopped on the curly haired boy who was leaning back in his chair as his eyes were focused on his lap. It wasn’t all that bright in the restaurant so Michael could see the light from the boys’ phone on his face as he moved his eyes.

Just like on the field Michael again just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the boy. There was just something about him that Michael liked and he never felt that way about anyone.

Suddenly Ashton was looking up and his eyes immediately landed on Michael like he just knew that the boy was staring at him. Michael gulped as he felt frozen. Ashton looked surprised for a few seconds like he couldn’t believe that Michael was actually looking at him, which confused the hell out of Michael because it should be the other way around with how popular Ashton is. Ashton was then smiling wide without showing his teeth and Michael literally felt a chill run down his spine but it was the type of chill he wanted to feel over and over.

He quickly tore his eyes away, afraid of his heart actually beating out of his chest if he looked at the boy any longer and then he was looking at Luke to distract himself. Luke was smirking at him though and Michael let out a breath, knowing that he had been caught.

“Who were you starting at over there?” Luke said in a teasing tone and Michael rolled his eyes.

“That waitress” Michael nodded over to the blonde that had showed them their seat earlier but Luke just let out a chuckle and shook his head.

“I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t have a penis so I highly doubt that you were looking at her with those heart eyes” and Michael scoffed at that.

“I can still appreciate a pretty girl when I see one”

“Michael” Luke glared at him “I know you were looking at one of the soccer players”

“Luke, just drop it” Michael said quickly.

“You’ve made me drop quite a few topics tonight…even more than usual”

“Yeah because you’re being really fucking pushy tonight so just…chill out” Michael said putting his hands up and trying to stay calm and not raise his voice at the boy.

Thankfully Luke didn’t push it anymore but he didn’t exactly talk either and Michael felt bad for pushing him into silence. Luke just tended to ask too many questions sometimes though.

*

Michael didn’t try to talk again until after they had finished their food. He had also done a good job of not looking over at Ashton and he was proud of himself.

He was about to say sorry to Luke but Luke looked downright upset and Michael was afraid that Luke would get heated and cause a scene so Michael shut his mouth and waited until they were back in the car to say something to his friend.

Michael paid the bill, insisting that Luke didn’t have to pay for his, as a way of apologizing a bit before he said his verbal apology in the car, and then they were making their way out of the restaurant.

As they were walking through the main isle Michael swore he could feel eyes on him but he gritted his teeth and made his eyes stay focused on the back of Luke as the blond walked in front of him.

Right as Michael was turning the corner towards the front doors though he felt his head moving to the left and his eyes immediately landed on Ashton. Michael stopped since Ashton wasn’t looking at him and just found himself staring at the boy. Ashton was leaned over the table as someone across from him was showing him something on their phone and Michael felt himself tense up when Ashton smiled wide but showed his teeth this time and God, did Michael wish the boy was looking straight at him with that smile of his.

“Mike’s you coming?” Luke suddenly spoke and Michael shook himself out of the little trance he was in, that apparently only Ashton could put him in, before looking at his friend who was standing in front of him, holding one of the glass doors open.  
Michael just nodded and glanced at Ashton once more before walking past Luke and going outside, knowing that the boy was following right behind him.

*

When they were in the car Michael was driving down the busy main road in the city and he could feel Luke’s eyes on him as they stopped at a red light.

“I was looking at Ashton” Michael said calmly and he still kept his eyes on the road, afraid of seeing Luke’s reaction. Michael couldn’t even remember the last time he had paid attention to anyone, let alone had a crush on someone so he knew Luke would be surprised too. He honestly wasn’t sure what he was feeling about Ashton, or if it was even a crush, but he knew he felt something for him and it was scaring the shit out of him. Michael didn’t have lovey dovey feelings; he just didn’t and it was why he was so good at his job. He never fell for any of the guys he did sexual favors for and he knew he never would.

“Irwin?” Luke said louder than Michael had and he looked over to see Luke widening his eyes in shock.

“Yeah” Michael said plainly, trying to not make it sound like a big deal, even though it kind of was “And that was why I was acting so weird during the game”

“Cause you were staring at him during the game too?” Luke said like he was piecing everything together and Michael nodded.

“I don’t know why I keep staring at him though” Michael heard himself saying. Luke was his best friend so Michael just felt himself pouring out everything to him.

“Well he’s incredibly good looking, Michael” Luke said with a chuckle like it was obvious and yeah, Ashton was good looking and Michael knew it; everyone did but there was a lot of good looking guys in their school and Michael never gave a shit about any of them. He just wasn’t sure why Ashton was so special.

“He smiled at me” Michael said, changing the subject a bit and he still couldn’t believe that the popular boy had given him one of his beautiful smiles. Michael didn’t feel worthy of it at all. He didn’t feel worthy of Ashton’s attention at all actually.  
He heard Luke humming to himself a bit and then he looked over to see the blond smiling down at his lap.

“And how did that make you feel?” Luke said with a slight smirk and Michael chuckled before looking back to the road as he turned onto Luke’s street.

“How did it make me feel…” Michael said, as his smile faded a bit and he got more serious “It made me feel like my heart was gonna beat out of my chest honestly” and Michael felt so naked after he admitted that aloud. He immediately wished he could take it back when he seen the soft look on Luke’s face.

“Sounds like you like him” and this time there was no sign of a smirk on Luke’s face.

“I don’t know” Michael muttered, because he honestly didn’t. He didn’t know what his feelings for Ashton were.

They were pulling into Luke’s driveway a few moments and luckily Luke didn’t press the topic any further because Michael really felt like he was done talking about it; he felt like he had said everything that he had wanted to say about Ashton.

“Well I hope you figure out this thing about Ashton” Luke said as he had his hand on the door.

“Me too” Michael nodded as he looked up at Luke’s house. It was so comforting and even from the outside you could tell that it was a family home. Michael wished he lived in a home like Luke’s.

“You can come in…you know if you want to stay the night” Luke said and God, was Michael tempted to agree to him. He could remember all the other times he stayed the night at Luke’s house and Luke’s mom would bring them both into a hug as soon as they walked into the door. They would then walk up to Luke’s room where they would fall asleep in his comfy bed with the window open as they watched some comedy movie that had them both in tears from how much they were laughing.

It was always so perfect but Michael felt himself shaking his head. Unfortunately Calum wasn’t the only person he had to please tonight, with it being Friday and all he still had one other person that always expected him. The last thing Michael wanted to do was leave Luke’s house in the middle of the night just to go suck some guy off because it was his only way of getting money; Michael felt ashamed about it enough.

“Tomorrow night I will” Michael promised cause he loved staying the night with Luke, he really did “I really wish I could tonight but this is kind of me and Max’s night to hang out” and he wasn’t lying, Max always liked hanging out with him on Friday for some reason and he was already running late as it was.

“Okay” Luke agreed but Michael knew he still really wanted him to stay the night tonight so Michael reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair which caused them both to smile.

“Tomorrow night, Lukey; I promise” Michael said again and Luke nodded as he was starting to open the door. Michael watched him step outside and then Luke was facing Michael as he stood in the driveway.

“You and Ashton would make a cute couple” Luke said like he had been holding it in the whole time they were in the car and he probably was “Just saying” Luke shrugged as he spoke in almost a shy voice and Michael cracked a smile as he looked at Luke’s house.

“Were you planning our wedding too, Luke?”

“No” Luke giggled “But you would look great in a tux” and Michael felt himself blushing at that but he just shook his head as he smiled.

“Get out of here” he said playfully and Luke giggled again before he was shutting the door and walking in front of the car.

“Text me” Luke shouted back and Michael looked out his rolled down window as Luke was on the sidewalk in front of his house now.

“I will” he smiled because it was always a thing they did; they always texted each other goodnight every night no matter what. Michael didn’t know when or why they even started doing that but he loved it; he loved having someone to say goodnight to every night and that someone was his best friend.

*

When Michael walked into his own house it wasn’t homey at all like Luke’s was. Instead of walking into a house that smelled like fresh laundry and homemade food he walked into a house that smelled of cigarette smoke and takeout food. It was what Michael was used to but it still didn’t give him a warm feeling when he walked in the door.

He slipped off his shoes then stepped onto the cold tile flooring of the kitchen. The whole house was pitch dark except for the blue and red flashes coming from the TV in the living room and Michael just knew Max was watching Cops like he always did late at night.

As he passed through the counters in the kitchen he seen Chinese take-out boxes and Pepsi cans littered the dark colored counters and he tossed the pop cans in the garbage before he was passing through the archway and into the living room.

From where he was behind the couch he could see one of Max’s legs thrown over the back of it and his arm resting over his head where he had a cigarette in between his fingers.

Michael walked over to him and plucked the cigarette from his fingers before bringing it to his own mouth and by the time he was exhaling the smoke Max was looking at him upside down with a smile on his face.  
He was shirtless and only in his boxers which wasn’t surprising since their air conditioning wasn’t working and it was like 90 degrees in their house.

“Did you guys win?” Max asked with a childlike voice and sometimes his friend reminded him of Luke. Max and Luke were both so unaware of the bad things in life and always looked at thing from such a positive perspective; Michael wished he could be more like that.

“You say that like I’m on the team” Michael chuckled before putting the cigarette in front of Max’s lips and the boy grinned before parting his lips and accepting the cigarette.

Michael let go of the cigarette once Max had a firm grip on it and he peeled his black t-shirt over his head before tossing it to the floor and collapsing in the lazy boy recliner that still had a stain on the arm of it from when Max spilled orange soda on it.

“Okay” Max let out a laugh and Michael’s eyes lingered on him; he could tell Max was high but yet again when wasn’t he? “Did the group of guys that you no longer have any association with, win?” and Michael rolled his eyes before focusing on the TV for a few seconds. He watched as a cop tacked some guy to the ground he heard Max make a sound of pain like he was the one getting tacked to the ground.

“Yeah, they did” Michael mumbled and he forced himself not to think about the curly haired boy again. He had spent enough time thinking about him and it was a waste of time because Ashton was way out of his league and Michael knew it; Michael knew that he wasn’t good enough for Ashton.

“Run bitch” Max said and Michael knew he was focused on the TV “Run run run, he’s right on your heels, bro. You aint gonna make it” and Michael chuckled at how much Max always got into his show “Should have run faster” Max was then looking at Michael before he talked “If that would have been me I would have out run them cops”

“I know you would’a” Michael chuckled and it was true; despite how badly Max’s lungs were probably damaged from so much smoking he could still out run most people.

Michael slumped down further into the recliner and put the foot stool up before rolling on his side and keeping his phone close to him, for when it went off. He was feeling so tired and he really wished he didn’t have to be leaving again tonight cause all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and maybe think about a boy that he knew he would never have.

*

Just like clockwork his phone vibrated at around 1am just like it always did and he rubbed at his eyes with his fists before pulling his phone out and letting the bright light practically blind him.

_Jack off (1:15am)_

_Get your sexy ass over here_

Michael let out a huff in a lazy attempt at a laugh then he was typing out a quick response.

He realized he got up too fast when he felt dizzy and had to hold his head for a few seconds then he was taking a double look at Max, now asleep on the couch.

Michael walked over to him and took the still lit cigarette out of his mouth before ashing it out and then he was pointing the box fan right at Max before he started to make his way out of the living room.

Jack lived only a few houses down so Michael didn’t even need to ever get in his car to drive there. Even when it rained Michael still never drove there for some reason, probably out of laziness.

It was slightly cooled down when Michael stepped out of the front door and began walking across the wooden boards beneath him. He started walking down the long flight of stairs down to the sidewalk and he could hear traffic in the distance and a few dogs barking. The smell of the ocean that wasn’t too far away washed over him and it always seemed to calm him.

It wasn’t like Michael dreaded seeing Jack like he did Calum but he was just quite tired and he knew Jack always wanted him to give it his all or else he wouldn’t even get paid.

There had been several times where Michael wasn’t particularly feeling it and did a half assed job at getting Jack off so Jack made him stay longer and get him off again in order for him to earn his money.

At least Calum had never that to him because it had Michael furious. Especially since it was a night that he was supposed to meet up with Luke and he ended up being an hour late, all because of Jack.

Another big difference between Calum and Jack was that with Calum him and Michael barely even talked; when it came to them it was just strictly business. When it came to Max him and Michael would sometimes even hang out after Michael got him off. They were just a lot more similar than him and Calum and Michael really didn’t mind staying around him for a bit longer than he had to; he knew he wouldn’t be doing that tonight though.  
Michael got to Max’s house in only a few short minutes and walked right into the front door like it was his own house.

Jack’s house was without a doubt the nicest house on the road but his parents were never home so he practically lived by himself. That was another thing that him and Michael had in common; their parents were pretty much non existence in their lives.

The house was so much cooler than Michael’s, it was almost cold, because the AC was turned up so high and it smelled of fresh flowers as Michael walked up the spiral staircase in the middle of the living room.

He walked down the almost pitch black hallways and as he got closer to Jack’s room he could hear the muffled sounds of what seemed to be an old Atreyu song.

Jack liked way heavier stuff than Michael did but Michael still appreciated the fact that he liked rock music and not that teen boppy shit that was always on the radio.

When Michael got to Jack’s door he didn’t even knock on the closed door and instead just opened it to find see the bed empty. He looked all over the messy room that had blankets thrown all over the carpet before he was locking eyes with the back of the computer chair where he could only see the top of Jack’s head.

With how loud the music was playing Jack probably hadn’t even heard Michael come in and Michael smirked before he began to take steps towards the boy.

Michael stopped when he was directly behind Jack and he could see his redish brown hair (His hair was a mixture of dark red and dark brown without being too red) that was under the white Vans snapback that he always wore.

He hesitated only a few seconds before he was putting his hands on the back of the chair and instantly shaking it but all of his seriousness was gone when Jack instantly jumped sky high and sucked a breath in so fast that Michael could actually hear it.

Jack quickly turned around in his spinning chair and faced Michael with wide eyes (His eyes were light brown with little flecks of red in them and they were strangely similar to his hair and Michael honestly thought that they were a mixture of scary and sexy) but his eyes died down a bit when he realized that it was just Michael and then he gritted his jaw as he looked down and rubbed at his hair.

“You bastard” Jack said in an angry tone but then it turned into a breathy chuckle and Michael smiled.

“I’m sorry I had to” Michael shot out and Jack glared up at him but he was slightly smiling still.

He watched as Jack got up from the chair and let out a breath before he was walking closer to Michael and Michael felt himself swallowing hard under Jack’s intense stare.

“Bed” Jack said sternly and Michael actually felt his dick twitch in his boxers from Jack’s lustful voice; out of all of the people that Michael serviced, Jack was the only one that actually turned him on. With everyone else it was just a job but usually with Jack Michael actually enjoyed himself.

“Wow, no small talk? Just getting right down to business huh?” Michael used his smart ass voice, knowing that it would rile Jack up.

“I don’t really have the patience for small talk tonight, Michael” and Michael felt himself shivering at the way Jack said his name as he slightly looked down at him; Jack was maybe only two inches taller than Michael was but sometimes it felt like he was so much taller than that.

Suddenly Jack was grabbing Michael’s hand and putting it on his own dick and Michael closed his eyes when he felt Jack’s already hard dick under his fingers.

Jack leaned forward and pressed one open mouthed kiss right under Michael’s ear before he was licking close to his earlobe and Michael felt his hot breath against his ear.

“Fuck you get me so hard” Jack still kept that stern tone to his voice and then he started to roughly rut up against Michael as he had one hand on Michael’s lower back and the other hand on his ass as he brought Michael into him over and over. Jack started to suck kisses on the underside of Michael’s jaw before he licked a stripe up his neck and it caused Michael to shiver “Now you’re gonna get on that bed and I’m gonna fuck that pretty little mouth of yours…got it?” Jack whispered and Michael quickly nodded but he actually felt himself getting nervous for some reason. Jack was always this way with him so Michael didn’t know why he feeling like he didn’t trust the boy.

Before Michael knew it he was being pushed back towards the bed until the back of his knees hit the foot of the bed and then Jack was pushing his chest and Michael fell to the soft bed.

He quickly shimmied back on the bed until his head was touching the headboard because he knew the drill, he knew what Jack was going to do to him but yet he still felt uneasy.

He watched as Jack kept his eyes on him the entire time as he started to undo the buckle of his faded blue jeans that had rips in them and then he was letting them drop to the floor before he grabbed his black shirt from the back and pulled it over his shoulders.

Michael stared at Jack’s pale torso, that was much like his own except Jack’s had a few small freckles that went down the middle of his chest, and Jack obviously seen him watching so he began rubbing a hand sensually down his torso before he was hooking his fingers under the lining of his boxers.  
Michael flicked his eyes up to Jack’s face and just studied his features as he could see Jack removing his boxers in his peripheral vision.

Jack had a smirk on his face as he began to crawl up the bed, now completely naked and Michael spared a glance at the boy’s dick. Jack’s dick was quite a bit bigger than anyone’s he’s ever seen and Michael actually felt himself being thankful that Jack hasn’t wanted to fuck him yet.

“Off” Jack said, tugging at Michael’s shirt, as he was now resting both of his palms by Michael’s hips as he hovered above him. Michael quickly did as he was told and then he was putting both of his arms by his side.

He followed Jack’s movements as the boy bent his head down to instantly suck at the skin on Michael’s chest and Michael sucked in a breath because he loved his chest and stomach getting kissed and Jack knew it.

That was another thing about Jack that he liked; even though most of the time it was about what Jack wanted he still sometimes made Michael feel better too and that was something that Calum never did.

Calum and Jack were both of Michael’s biggest customers so he couldn’t help but compare them.

Jack then moved his head up to start sucking hard on Michael’s nipple and Michael felt so painfully hard in his shorts and that killed him because he knew Jack wouldn’t be getting him off. Michael would just have to walk home and wank off in his own bed like he always did after Jack was done with him.

That was one good thing about being with Calum; Michael never got hard while getting him off so he never had to suffer with a hard on the whole time.  
Jack was then moving quickly as he faced Michel and Michael swore it seemed like Jack was going to kiss him on the lips but that couldn’t be; Jack knew Michael’s rule of no kissing on the lips. The want was still there but then Jack was sucking kisses on his jaw and getting awfully close to Michael’s lips but Michael knew he would push him away if he had to.

In a quick movement Jack was getting up higher on the bed until his knees were bracketed next to Michael’s head and Michael looked up to see Jack’s dick right above him.

He took a deep breath in, knowing he should appreciate being able to breathe while he still could, then he was looking up at Jack as he grabbed a hold of his dick and began moving it towards Michael’s lips.

At first Jack only just rubbed the the tip of his dick against Michael’s lips and Michael could feel the pre come dripping off of it.

“Open up, baby” Jack used the word baby a lot but he always said it so sternly and it made Michael cringe. That word was supposed to make someone feel loved or at least turned on but when Jack said it he just felt so used; but he was being used so Michael just always pushed past the awful feeling.  
Michael opened his mouth and watched as Jack started to push his dripping cock into his wet mouth and then Michael was closing his eyes.  
Sure, Michael always felt turned on when him and Jack started to fool around but as soon as it got to the part where Jack started actually using him Michael just hated it.

It made him hate sex and hate what he did and there were a few times where he swore he almost told Jack that he wanted to stop but he never did.  
Quite frequently Michael felt the need to tell someone to stop, with Calum or Jack or with anyone, but he never did and he really felt like he wasn’t allowed to merely because they were paying him for this. Besides, Michael felt like all he was good for was being used anyways.

The concept of someone actually respecting him and loving him seemed so foreign to him and Michael felt like he wouldn’t ever have that, no matter how badly he wanted it.

He snapped back into it when he felt himself not being able to breathe as Jack’s dick was pushed all the way in and Michael couldn’t help but let out a choking sound but Jack just let out a loud moan and brought up one hand to put through Michael’s hair as he tugged on it harshly.

Michael could actually feel his face going red as his oxygen was being cut off and he felt like if this went on any longer than he would have to physically push Jack away because he would end up passing out from lack of air if he didn’t.

“Take it” Jack said in a warning tone that it made Michael tense up and just want out of this whole situation but he felt frozen.  
Finally Jack eased up on him and took his dick out only an inch or two and Michael sucked in, just savoring the fact that he could breathe again.  
But before Michael could even relax Jack was pushing down his throat harshly again and Michael clenched his eyes shut tight at the pain of it all.

Jack was always rough on his but he was never this rough. Michael thought it was also weird how Calum had been the same way earlier with him. It was like the universes way of telling him that he should stop doing what he is doing. But Michael knew he couldn’t afford to do that and that terrified him. It felt like he would be stuck in this lifestyle forever.

His throat actually started to hurt from Jack thrusting so hard into him and Michael could feel the tears dripping down his cheeks and he prayed that Jack wouldn’t notice because Jack would never let him forget that he had actually started crying during sex.

Michael didn’t know if he was just having a particular rough night so his emotions were all over the place or if this way of making money was actually starting to fuck with him and he couldn’t handle it anymore; Michael hoped it was the first option.

Michael made a grunt in anger as Jack pulled hard on his hair and thrusting into his throat for what seemed like the thousandth time but of course Jack didn’t think anything of it and just kept fucking his mouth.

Michael could just lift his arm up and squeeze Jack’s thigh hard and then maybe the boy would stop or at least slow down but he knew that wouldn’t work; Jack liked the pain and he would just think that Michael was squeezing his thigh to make him feel good.

Michael looked back to how Calum was being with him in the upstairs bathroom and that seemed like heaven compared to what Jack was putting him through right now and Michael honestly didn’t know how much longer he could take it before he actually started sobbing from being in so much pain.

Thankfully Jack let out a loud moan and few curse words as he threw his head back and clenched his eyes shut and Michael relaxed at knowing that Jack was close now; Jack always got ten times more louder when he was about to come.

Only a few more minutes went by, although they seemed like hours to Michael, before Michael felt come going down his throat and Jack’s hips weakly bucked into his mouth only two more times before he was stopping his movements completely and pulling out of Michael’s mouth.

As soon as Jack pulled out of him Michael’s head fell back into the pillow hard as he panted loudly and kept letting out whimpers at how relieved he was that it was finally over.

Michael felt the strength to open his eyes and jumped when he seen Jack resting back on his heels, still naked as he looked at Michael with worried eyes.  
That was the thing about Jack, right before and during sex he was almost animalistic and so controlling but as soon as it was over it was like something else completely came over him and it was as if him and Michael were actually friends and that was usually why Michael stayed to hang out with him longer but he wasn’t tonight; there was no way in hell he was staying tonight.

Michael gritted his teeth as his chest was still going up and down in a fast pace but he noticed that Jack wasn’t even out of breath while it felt like Michael had just run a mile with how physically drained he was. Jack must have noticed something too because he was speaking as he put a hand nervously through his hair.

“You should have told me to stop” Jack said in a small voice, not even seeming like the same person that was just fucking his mouth a few minutes ago.

“It was a bit difficult to talk when your cock was down my throat” Michael said with no humor and it was because he actually felt anger boiling in him with how rough and relentless Jack had been with him.

“Well umm…” Jack looked like he wanted to help but he was loss for words “We should have a safe word or something- I mean not a safe word cause you can’t talk but you could like pat me on the leg three times or something like that” he was rambling and Michael almost laughed at how innocent and nervous he was in this moment.

Suddenly Michael hated how weak he was being and he knew he just had to suck it up; after all, it was just part of the job.

“I don’t need a safe word or anything like that” Michael said grabbing his shirt and getting off the bed “You’re paying me so you should be able to be as rough with me as you want” and he put his shirt on before looking at Jack again but he wished he wouldn’t have.

Jack looked so sad as he looked at Michael and Michael really didn’t want his pity so just put his hands in his jean pockets and looked down to the floor, hoping that Jack would just drop this whole conversation.

But of course the universe hated him tonight.

“I think we should still-“

“Jack” Michael said loudly, louder than he meant to and he ran a hand through his hair, trying to relax “I’m fine…I’m just worn out and I wanna go home” and Michael hoped that Jack understood that he just wanted his money so he could leave.

Jack nodded, looking still sad as ever, then he was standing up and slipping his boxers on before he went over to his jeans that were still lying on the floor.

Michael watched as the boy grabbed the money out of his wallet before coming to face Michael, only being a few steps away from him.  
Jack’s chest and neck were still flushed red from his orgasm and his hair was a mess; he looked so fucked out and Michael felt a bit of pride knowing that he did that to him.

He snapped back into it and took the money from Jack’s hand then for some reason he felt himself counting it.  
He furrowed his eyebrows then counted it again when he was sure he counted wrong.

“You…” Michael began as he looked back up at Jack “You gave me 70 dollars” and Michael watched as Jack shrugged “It’s always only $40, Jack”

“Just keep it” Jack said warmly and Michael swore he almost smiled but for some reason he was still angry from before. Michael let out a huff which caused Jack to smile then the boy was turning around and sitting at the edge of his bed and Michael walked past him without a second thought, already on his way to the door.

Michael had both feet out of the door and was about to start walking down the hallway but Jack’s voice surprised him.

“Just because I’m paying you doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like a fucking rag doll, Michael” and Michael gritted his teeth and forced himself not to turn around “Next time promise me that you’ll make me stop” Michael felt himself nodding, not even sure if he really would make Jack stop next time. Michael doesn’t know it he would ever tell anyone to stop because being used was all he ever knew and it just felt so natural to him.  
But just because he was used to it doesn’t mean that it didn’t leave him feeling empty and disgusted with himself every single time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as some of you may know I had like several chapters of this written when I first came up with the idea but then my computer junked out without warning and I lost everything. I was very discouraged for a very long time but I’m slowly trying to rewrite the chapters. Anyways I hope this is okay and let me know what you think!

It wasn’t easy for Michael to think about things other than Ashton Irwin even after he got back to school the following Monday. Usually the day would drag on anyways but today it felt like it was just never going to end and he would have to be stuck in this Monday forever, just constantly thinking about some boy he would never have.

Michael knew he didn't deserve Ashton and that was the hardest part.

Things only got worse during his 5th hour when they were all assigned some huge essay cause Michael hated writing essays and he just knew he would be getting yet another F on an assignment; which was the last thing he needed because he was already about failing the class.

He was now walking out of the dreadful class, knowing that he only had to make through one more hour before he was being released and he could just go home and pig out.

"Hey" came a sudden voice from right behind him and Michael recognized the voice and he stopped dead in his tracks but didn't turn around. Maybe the boy was talking to someone else but no one else around him was responding so Michael turned around.

He gulped when he saw the handsome boy, who was now wearing a red flannel, standing in front of him with a smile on his face and Michael had no idea what was going on. He was afraid that this was all some joke.

"Uhh hi" he managed to get out and Ashton smiled even wider, if that was even possible.

"I'm Ashton by the way" he said like Michael would have no clue who he was and Michael had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

"I know" he said back quickly.

"And you're Michael. I asked some guy in Chem class what your name was" and Michael was sure this was a joke now. Why was Ashton going out of his way to find out what Michael's name was? Something wasn't right here.

When Michael just nodded, not knowing what to say he could tell that Ashton was going to talk again.

"I seen you last night" and Michael just shrugged.

"Yeah so? Lots of people go to bdubs" he said with a lot more attitude than he intended on but Ashton didn't seem to be phased by it.

"No" Ashton chuckled "After the game. I seen you kicking the ball and I could tell that wasn't the first time you did it. I was just wondering why you aren't on the team"

"Well I was.." Michael said while he nervously chewed on his lip, not wanting to tell Ashton the real reason why he wasn't on the team anymore.

"What happened?" He said sounding concerned "Did you get hurt?"

"No just got sick of it” he lied “Plus if you haven't noticed all the guys on the team are pricks"

"Well you aren't wrong" Ashton laughed but then his face turned into a more serious one and Michael got worried "Hang out with me after school" and well that was not what Michael was expecting but he felt himself nodding before his brain even had time to catch up.

"Umm o-okay" Michael then cleared his throat and hated how desperate he made himself seem "I mean I don't have anything else to do"

"Well good" Ashton said smirking and Michael had to refrain himself from whimpering. Why was this kid getting to him so badly? "I wouldn't want you having to cancel your plans just for me" he said as he started to walk backwards but Michael still stayed frozen in the hall "I'll see you later, Michael" and then he was lost in the sea of people.

Michael didn't know how long he stood in the middle of the hallway, staring at the spot that Ashton had been standing at while he tried to figure out what had just happened but he knew it must had been a while because he was totally late for his next class.

*

Michael was dragging himself through the hall after last hour ended and he hadn't forgotten about Ashton wanting to hang out with him, there was no way he would forget about that, but honestly he was still convinced that it was some sort of sick joke that Ashton cooked up with the rest of the popular kids.

So to say that Michael was surprised when he saw Ashton standing by this locker would be an understatement.

It may have sounded dramatic but he felt like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles when she seen her high school crush leaning against his car waiting for her.

Ashton had his hands in his jean pockets as he was looking down at the floor, not even noticing Michael yet, and Michael thought he seemed a bit nervous and he thought it was adorable. He loved Ashton's confident side too of course but this was a whole new side that Michael was seeing and he couldn't take his eyes off of the boy.

As Michael got closer Ashton looked up as he was chewing on his lip but soon his whole face lit up and Michael swore his heart stopped.

"Hi" Michael softly smiled as he quickly raised his eyebrows and Ashton pushed himself off of Michaels locker to lean sideways against the one beside it instead as he watched Michael begin to open his locker.

"Hey" Ashton said back then he was  
shifting closer to Michael and Michael tried to just to focus on putting his books on the shelf in his locker.

"How'd you know where my locker is? You stalking me?" and that got a chuckle out of Ashton which made Michael happy.

"No I just seen you at it this morning" Michael looked up after he shut his locker and he could tell Ashton wasn't done talking "Been trying to work up the courage to talk to you ever since" and Michael could feel his cheeks heating up at the nervous side of Ashton coming out again.

"So I was thinking we could go to that Chinese place that is by the Harbor" Ashton began again, with much more confidence this time "That okay?"

"Yeah I know that place. Sounds good" and he felt like he was way too excited about this but he just couldn't help it; He was going on a date with Ashton fucking Irwin.

*

Michael was walking side by side with Ashton as they were walking through the parking lot and Michael would put his head down and try not to bring any more attention to himself whenever he could feel the other students looking at him. They were probably wondering what the hell Ashton was doing with someone like him and Michael had been wondering that too so he didn't blame them for all the staring.

But suddenly he felt eyes on him from the back and they were making him feel really uneasy. Michael felt himself turning around this time to see who was staring at him so intently.

His eyes roamed around the entrance way of the school a couple of times before they landed on a figure that was sitting on a bench near the window that belonged to the principles office.

Michael had never seen the boy before, but he went to a class A school so he saw new people all the time.

The kid had glasses and he had a confident way of sitting with his hands in his pockets and his legs spread a bit.

"Michael" Michael quickly turned to see Ashton looking at him with an amused smile "My cars right here" he said pointing off to their right and Michael quickly nodded before they were turning down an aisle of the parking lot.

Once they were in the car Michael realized it smelled just like Ashton and he felt himself smiling as he looked out the window.

The silence between them wasn't exactly uncomfortable but Michael jut really missed hearing Ashton talk.

"So where'd you move from?" he heard himself asking.

"Michigan" Ashton looked over at him with a brief smile when they were stopped at a red light "Have you always lived here?"

"Unfortunately" Michael mumbled.

"Oh come on; it's not that bad. At least the weather is nice"

"The heat will start getting to you; trust me" Michael chuckled. Florida was just way too hot for his liking.

"Yeah, maybe you're right" Ashton nodded before sending Michael a soft smile and God, Michael doesn't ever think he will get sick of seeing Ashton smile at him.

*

It didn't take long for them to get into the main part of town where the Chinese place was and Michael put his head back on the seat and looked over at Ashton. He was going to just glance at him but he found himself unable to look away from the boy.

Ashton had sunglasses on now as the sun shined right on his face and Michael flicked his eyes all over his face just looking at his tan skin and smile lines.

He watched as Ashton bit his lip and looked out his own window and Michael just knew Ashton was admiring the ocean.

Michael remembers when he used to be so amazed by the ocean when he was younger and everything was so new to him but now days he would only feel empty and lonely while looking at the large body of water. He wished he loved looking at it as much as Ashton seemed to though.

Michael was still zoning out a bit as he took in every feature on Ashton but then Ashton was looking back at him and Michael felt his face heat up as he quickly looked down at his own lap. He heard Ashton let out a soft chuckle but he didn't dare look at the probably smug grin that was on the boys face.

"You hungry?" Ashton broke the silence seconds later.

"Starving" Michael answered. It was just so hard for him to eat during lunch because the food was so shitty so he was always so hungry after school let out.

"I haven't been to this place but I hear it's really good" Ashton said just as he was parking his car next to the brick building.

"It is" Michael said straight away "Me and my friend Luke come here a lot" he felt Ashton look over at him like he was curious to hear more about Luke but then they were both getting out of the car and heading towards the front doors.

Michael followed close to Ashton as they walked to their table and it felt so weird coming here without Luke or Max but Michael was thankful that he was with Ashton; he really was.

Ashton slid into the booth first then Michael slid in across from him and they ordered their drinks.

"So you coming to the next home game?" Ashton asked as Michael was currently looking out the window but he was instantly looking back at the boy as he spoke.

"Yeah I kind of have to" Michael said dully as he shrugged.

There was no way that Michael was telling Ashton the main reason why he was kind of required to go to home games so he knew he would have to take another route.

"Oh really?" Ashton said sitting back in his seat and Michael nodded.

"Yeah Luke is kind of a huge fan of your team so he always makes me go"

"Do you think you would go otherwise?" Ashton asked with a sad look on his face and Michael knew the answer to that was yes because he had to tend to Calum but Michael once again knew he had to hold his tongue about that.

"Probably not" Michael said with a shrug as he messed with his straw wrapper and he could see the smile slip off of Ashton's face. He felt guilty for making the boy look unhappy but he didn't know what to say so he just smiled shyly before sipping his drink.

"Listen, there's a party this Friday” Ashton began and Michael quickly looked up "Would you wanna come?" Ashton had that hopeful look back on his face again and it was really hard to turn him down.

Michael hadn't been to a party in years though so the idea of going to one made him a bit nervous; especially since he knew all the guys from the soccer team would be there.

"You can bring Luke if you want" Ashton added and Michael smiled a bit.

"Well who's house is it at?"

"Just someone from the team is hosting it" Ashton said casually but that had been exactly what Michael was afraid of. He also didn't like how Ashton didn't specify who exactly was hosting it but Michael figured he was screwed no matter what because all of the players hated him equally.

"I'll have to ask Luke" is what Michael settled on for an answer but it brought a huge smile to Ashton's face as he shifted in his seat to lean his elbows on the table.

"Well I hope to see you there" he beamed and Michael couldn't help but smile back.

  
*

  
It wasnt until after they ate their weight in Chinese food and were in the car driving back to the school when it hit Michael; the real reason why Ashton was wanting to hang out with him.

A lot of people at his school were aware of what Michael did for money so he wasnt surprised that Ashton knew and that had to be it. Ashton wanted someone to get him off and that was it. Maybe he was a bit more polite and that was why he took Michael out to lunch too but Michael still felt himself getting upset. He was upset with himself though, not Ashton. He should have known that Ashton was just using him like everyone else did. Michael knew that was all he was good for anyways.

Michael looked up from his lap and seen that they were now pulling into the school parking lot and he knew what Ashton was going to want from him and he just wanted to get it over with. He hated himself or developing this stupid crush on Ashton.

"So where do you wanna do this?" Michael shot out in a boring tone like he used with all of his customers.

Ashton widened his eyes a bit though before looking over at Michael and then he was opening and closing his mouth a couple of times before he was finally speaking.

"What're you taking about?" Ashton practically whispered and Michael almost rolled his eyes but when he looked back up at Ashton he seen how shocked and hurt Ashton really looked and he felt like such an asshole because he was so wrong. Ashton didn't know at all about what Michael did.

"You know what I do...don't you?"

"No..michael you're worrying me" Ashton said after a few seconds of staring at Michael.

Michael was in deep now so he knew he had to tell Ashton the truth. He got ready for Ashton to look down at him now.

"I do sexual favors for money" Michael said quietly as he looked down at his feet.

It seemed like hours that Ashton didn't say anything and then Michael could hear him shifting in his seat.

"You- what? Why?" He didn't seem like he was judging Michael quite yet but Michael could tell that the boy was still shocked.

"After I got kicked out of my parents house I just needed a quick way to make money. I don't know it just kind of just happened" Michael said honestly and then he was letting out a breath.

Event though the job made him feel like such a piece of shit every time he did it it was still such an easy and fast way to make money and Michael knew he couldn't give that up.

"My mom" ash said excitedly and Michael looked up at him finally "my moms owns a diner in town. I could easily get you a job there michael and-"

"No...I don't need you feeling sorry for me. It's just a job" Michael said cutting him off and for some reason he felt himself getting angry again. He didn't want to sit in this car with Ashton any longer.

"Michael..fuck you deserve so much better" Ashton said in such a soft tone and Michael knew he didn't deserve to get treated this nice; he didn't deserve a person like Ashton.

"No I don't" Michael said coldly and he swears he seen Ashton jump a bit at his harsh tone.

"Well I think you do" Ashton said back in a weak tone and Michael shook his head and opened the door before he lost the courage to leave "Michael wait!"

Michael pretended not to hear Ashton as he slammed the door and started to make his way all the way across the parking lot to his own car.

As he was walking he felt his anger slowly turning into sadness as he remembered how Ashton had looked at him. Ashton looked at him like he just wished he could help Michael but Michael knew that the boy couldn't; he was just in way too deep now

He was fishing his keys out of his pockets as he could see his car but he swears he could still feel Ashton's eyes on him.

He hesitated a bit before he was turning around and he could see Ashton pulling out of the school parking lot. Michael was glad that he couldn't see Ashton's face because it might have made him run back to the boy.

Michael was just about to open his door before he felt a presence behind him and he nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a guy walking up to his car.

"Sorry" The guy spoke with a soft voice as he put his hands up and he didnt seem like someone who was a murderer but Michael still felt himself being nervous.

"Uh, can I help you?" Michael had an edge to his voice and he knew the boy took it seriously when he took a step back.

It was then that Michael recognized him as the kid who was watching him and Ashton leave the parking lot after school.

"You were watching me...when me and Ashton left the parking lot" Michael began and the boy with stylish glasses on began to blush a bit; this boy was like a little puppy so clearly Michael was in no danger so he calmed down and faced the boy fully "Have you been here this whole time?"

"Yeah..." the boy nodded sheepishly as he looked down at the pavement "I just wanted to ask you something"

"Okay but why didn't you just ask me it during school hours?" Michael said with a slight chuckle.

"It's kind of...personal" and suddenly Michael understood. This boy wasn't so innocent after all since he was asking Michael to get him off. Michael knew he should have seen this coming.

"Well I'm not blowing you in the parking lot, I can tell you that right now" Michael said bluntly.

Michael almost laughed when he seen the boys eyes practically bulge out of his face.

"No! I mean that's not what I'm here for" the boy said and Michael raised his eyebrows because he couldn't be more confused.

He watched as the boy shifted on his feet a bit.

"You see...I really like someone...this guy" Michael could tell that this kid was still adjusting to his sexuality because he turned pale when he said "guy".

"Go on" Michael nodded and he watched the boy take a deep breath.

" I just kind of wanna have some experience before I ask him out..not that I think that we'll sleep together on the first date but I just really like him and I really wanna have...like a relationship with him"

"So you're a virgin?" Michael felt the need to ask and the boy nodded "How old are you?"

"18" the boy looked shameful but Michael wished he would have waited to lose his virginity instead of losing it to some guy who didn't give a fuck about him in the back seat of a car.

"So let me get this straight" Michael began because he wasn't fully grasping what this kid wanted from him "You wanna get experience...by having me get you off?"

"No! I mean I was hoping I could get you off and like..you could teach me how..forget it. It's stupid I'm sorry-"

"So you're gonna pay me..to let you give me a blowjob?" Michael laughed because he really couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah...if you want. I just thought that I would ask"

"How could I turn that down?" Michael smiled wide and the boy was smiling back at him.

This was exactly what he needed after the incident with Ashton; he just needed to get his mind off of the curly haired boy.

*

As they were walking into the house Michael learned that the boys name was Alex and he was glad to see that Max was nowhere in sight. Michael never brought his customers home with him and he didn't feel like dealing with Max's questions and judgey looks.

"We can uh...go to my room" Michael said nervously, for some reason, as he gestured to the direction of his room.

  
He looked back to see Alex curiously looking around the house and then he was looking to Michael and smiling. Michael attempted to smile back but he was still unsure about this whole thing. It had just been so long since someone had made Michael feel good and Michael was scared that he would come in like 2 minutes, despite the boys lack of experience.

When Michael walked into his room Alex wasn't far behind him and Michael just stood next to his bed and wondered what to do next. With Calum and Jack he knew that they always got straight to the point and he liked it that way because it meant that there was no awkwardness like there was right now with Alex.

"So...should we just get to it?" Michael turned to him with a nervous laugh and he was glad to see Alex looking just as nervous.

"Yeah I guess" Alex shrugged and Michael took a double look at the boy as he was looking down to the floor.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Michael had to make sure but Alex was quick to look up and nod.

"Yeah...I'm just a bit nervous. I don't want to be horrible at it"

"You won't. I'll guide you through it"

Alex nodded and Michael looked at the shy boy for a few more seconds before he was starting to unbutton his pants and pull them down.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and Alex was watching his every move.

"You can kneel down on the floor between my legs or we can do it on the bed. Your choice"

"I can get on the floor" Alex said easily and Michael could tell that he was glad about them moving on with things.

Michael started to take his boxers slowly off and of course he was still soft so he took his dick in his hand to start pumping it to full hardness and Alex just looked down with an intregged look on his face.

"Umm...I can do it" Alex said as he looked up at Michael with the cutest puppy dog eyes he had ever seen.

Michael just nodded before letting his dick go and he felt Alex start to wrap his hand around it instead. Just that little touch from someone else had Michael closing his eyes and letting out a small breath.

He couldn't even remember the last time that he had someone in between his legs and he missed it terribly; just the feeling of someone else pleasing him.

It didnt take long for Michael to get hard and then Alex was looking up at him wondering what his next step should be.

"Just ummm" Michael sucked in a breath as Alex rubbed his thumb around the tip "You can start by just sucking on the head; don't get too far ahead of yourself"

"Okay" Alex nodded eagerly and Michael almost chuckled at how much this kid wanted to learn how to suck dick; Michael began to wonder who this kid was that he had a crush no because he must really care about him if he's willing to suck some stranger off.

Michael bit at his lip as Alex slowly pressed his lips to his tip and just barely started to suck on the very top but it was a really nice feeling and Michael felt like he could come just from this. Alex had really plump lips and Michael had a feeling that he would catch on to this whole sucking dick thing very quickly.

Slowly Alex started to pump his hand on Michael's dick again as he began to now suck the whole tip into his mouth a little and Michael knew he needed to tell him that he was doing a good job because he really was.

"Y-yeah that's good" Michael let out a few breaths from his mouth and Alex looked up at him with those puppy dogs eyes again and Michael was a bit embarrassed when he let out a moan but he knew it really gave the boy more confidence because he began sucking harder and pumping his hand faster.

"You can use your tongue" Michael suggested and only a second went by before Alex was doing just that as he twirled his tongue around the tip as his lips were still tightly around it.

"Shit" Michael moaned out and he threw his head back so that he was looking at up the ceiling and his palms were behind him, holding him up.

Alex began to slowly take more of his dick now, going past the tip and sucking hard right away and Michael gripped his sheets hard as he forced himself not to buck his hips up, this was Alex's first time sucking dick and the last thing that Michael wanted to do was choke him.

Michael took one of his hands off of the bed and looked down to see Alex now closing his eyes as he took Michael in faster and Michael could feel his own thighs shaking beneath him. He moved his hand so that it was in Alex's hair and he started to gently massage it which earned a moan from Alex and the vibration that it sent down his dick was enough for Michael to let out a loud moan himself as he got that much closer to his orgasm.

When Alex started to twist his hand and Michael's dick hit the back of Alex's throat Michael could feel the warmness in the bottom of his stomach as he was letting out a constant stream of breathy moans now.

"Ah, fuck" Michael whispered then he started to pull on Alex's hair a bit "I'm really close"

He wanted to give Alex a warning just in case the boy wanted to pull off or something but he didn't; he just sped up his pace even more and moaned around Michael a few more times before it sent Michael over the edge and he was breathing heavily as he released and Alex swallowed it all down before pulling off.

"Fuck that was good" Michael said honestly after he caught his breath a bit and he looked back down to see Alex smiling as he blushed and started to stand up again.

"Really? I did okay?" he said in a soft voice and Michael chuckled an nodded.

"You did great" he said as he started to pull up his boxers again and his pants.

"Oh" Alex said as he started to pull out his wallet "Before I forget"

As Alex was handing him the money Michael felt weird for accepting it. This kid had just given him a great orgasm but yet he was the one getting paid. Michael felt like he should be paying Alex instead.

"I uh...I can't" Michael said as he put his hand up in front of the money.

  
"What? Why not?" Alex said and Michael knew the boy felt like he did something wrong.

"I like really enjoyed that and it would feel weird accepting your money"

Michael saw Alex blush as he looked down but he could tell the boy was still going to pay him.

"Well I really enjoyed it too" he said grabbing Michael's hand and putting the money in his palm and Michael was going to object again but Alex just raised his eyebrows.

"Jesus" Michael chuckled "This guy you like must really be something"

"Yeah" Alex bit his lip and pushed his glasses up on his nose as he smiled "He really is"

"Can I ask who it is?" Michael was just very curious.

Alex nodded but hesitated a bit as he looked past Michael.

"It's Calum Hood" he said now looking down at the floor and Michael coughed a bit as he rubbed a hand over his face; not believing what he was hearing. If Alex only knew that he sucked off Calum as often as he did.

"You're shitting me?" he said still in shock.

"No" the boy had a serious look on his face "I think he's beautiful"

Michael's heart skipped a beat at that and as he looked at his handsome and kind boy in front of him he knew that Calum didn't deserve him.

"He doesn't even know I exist though" Alex continued and now he looked straight up sad "Even if he did he's way out of my league and he's obviously straight"

And right then Michael wanted to tell him; tell him that Calum was about as gay as they come but he was just deeply in the closet but made a promise to Calum a long time ago.

"You're too good for him; I promise you are" Michael said sincerely and Alex just laughed and shook his head.

"No way" then his face was changing into surprise "Wait, do you know him?"

"No" Michael was quick to say "He just seems like a real asshole; seriously you could do way better"

"It's not that easy. I've liked him for years"

Michael felt bad for Alex; he really did. He had a crush on the worst person; a person who would probably never come out while he was still in high school.

Michael wished that Alex had a crush on someone nice...someone nice like Ashton and it then occurred to Michael that he didn't have it bad at all. He had a crush on Ashton and Ashton was nice and caring towards him but Michael knew he had been a huge asshole to him. He started to hate himself as he stood in his bedroom with Alex's worried eyes on him.

It then occurred to Michael that he had made a terrible mistake. He had thrown away a chance at actually having a good person in his life and he knew he had to fix it.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day at school Michael somehow managed to avoid both Ashton and Luke for most of the day.

He wanted to avoid Ashton for obvious reasons and with Luke...well he was in a shit mood and he just didn't feel like dealing with Luke's cheerful vibe because he knew it would annoy him.

Every since last night he was replaying his slight fight with Ashton in the car and he realized how much he overreacted. He knew he should try and find Ashton to apologize but really he just hoped that Ashton forgot about him and moved on. He hoped that Ashton knew how much better he could do. Michael still wasn't sure if Ashton had a crush on him or what but he knew the boy had interest in him, for some reason, and it confused the shit out of him. He just didn't understand why someone as perfect as Ashton would want to be around him.

Sometimes Michael felt like absolute trash because of his job and just because of the type of person he was and it was obvious that Ashton had no idea what kind of person he was or else he wouldn't want anything to do with Michael.

Right before lunch Michael was walking to his locker going to put his books back and he looked back to see the popular group all huddled around Calum of course as the boy seemed to be telling some sort of story with a wide grin on his face while he moved his hands around.

Michael rolled his eyes back to his own locker and was quick to put his books on the top shelf.

He never got to see the nice and funny version of Calum unless he was talking to his friends; Michael only saw the demanding and rude Calum who just cared about getting off. Sometimes Michael thought about dropping their deal all together just to piss the boy off. It was obvious that Calum got whatever he wanted and Michael kind of wanted to tell him to just fuck off.

He knew he needed the money though and Calum was a sure deal where Michael didn't have to worry if he would get money or not.

Michael was just about to close his locker when someone was pushing past him with their shoulder and Michael tensed up, already pissed, before he was looking up to see Calum walking in front of him now and the boy didn't even look back at him.

It wasn't until a few seconds later when Michael was walking towards the lunch room did he realize that when Calum passed him he had put something in his pocket.

Michael's curiosity got the best of him and he felt himself taking out a small note.

_Be in the E wing bathroom during lunch_

Michael let out a breath at the fact that Calum didn't even phrase it as a question; he just demanded it like Michael had no choice but to be there.

It had been a while since Calum had arranged for them to hook up during school hours so Michael figured he really needed it or he was just having a bad day but judging from how he had been laughing with his friends he thought that was unlikely.

Michael started walking towards the lunch room and he felt his stomach growling as soon as he was in front of the E wing. He figured that this would go by fast like it always did so he would still have time to eat but he was still dreading it. It was time like these that Michael really hated his job...like when it got in the way of eating when he hadn't had breakfast this morning and had been starving for hours.

The hall was empty of course and then he was getting to the bathroom door. He figured that Calum was in there but this time Calum couldn't bitch at him for being late because the boy didn't say a specific time.

When Michael walked in he was quick to lock the main door like they always did then he looked to see Calum fixing his hair in the mirror as if he hadn't noticed Michael's presence so Michael cleared his throat and Calum only glanced at him before he was unbuckling his pants and then instantly getting his dick out.

"Let's hurry this along, okay?" Michael grumbled as he walked towards Calum.

"Why, you hungry?" Calum said with a smirk and Michael looked down to see Calum slightly moving his dick around in his hand.

Michael hated himself when he blushed and felt a slight heat in the bottom of his stomach; he couldn't even remember the last time he got turned on while getting Calum off; maybe it was because Calum was always so cold towards him but he wasn't being that way right now which put Michael at ease.

"Starving" Michael smirked back and he felt his accomplished something when Calum smiled back and bit at his lip.

Michael got to his knees a second later and took all of Calum in his mouth at once causing the boy to curse loudly and throw his head back with his eyes clenched shut.

Michael knew that Calum was desperate right now and he knew he could make him come in no time.

*

As Michael was getting off of his sore knees he heard one crack then looked up to see Calum breathing heavily as he put his hand through his hair and started to pull his pants back up again.

It was in this moment that he had no idea why Calum had to pay someone to have sex with him.

"I don't even know why you need me" Michael mumbled before he lost the guts to and out of the corner of his eye he saw Calum jerking his head to look up at him.

"What?" Calum said sounding so confused but also a bit angry.

"You could get anyone you want, Calum. Why do you need me?" Michael looked him right in they eye this time and he could tell that Caum didn't want to talk about this.

"I can get any girl I want" Calum said cockily with a shrug and Michael rolled his eyes.

"Yeah too bad you don't want them back huh?" Michael said coldly and he saw Calum tensing his jaw and looking away "I'm talking about guys, Calum. I'm pretty sure we aren't the only two gay guys in this school"

Michael watched the way that Calum physically shivered at the word "gay".

"What if I said that I knew a guy who really liked you?" Michael thought back to yesterday when he had been with Alex and how sweet the boy had been; clearly way out of Calum's league but maybe Calum would change and be nicer if he was with Alex. Michael knew it was a long shot but it didn't hurt at least bringing Alex up.

Calum bit his lip as he looked down at the floor and Michael swear he saw the boy blushing under the bright fluorescent lights.

"Umm...who is it?"

"His name is Alex. You probably haven't even seen him before but he's really cool; super fucking cute too"

It then seemed like Calum was wanting to know more but then he was shaking his head and Michael realized that his plan hadn't worked at all.

"Coming out would be a death sentence for me" Calum said as he crossed his arms and Michael scoffed because that was a bit drastic.

"How do you know that?"

"Cause I remember what they did to you" Calum looked in right in the eye and Michael felt his stomach drop.

He had been been trying to forget what the team did to him for years but he knew that was impossible.

"They wouldn't kick you off the team. You're the best they have" Michael said trying to resort this topic back to Calum.

"You were the best too" Calum said and Michael couldn't believe how nice Calum was being to him.

"Apparently not in their book if they could all vote to kick me off so easily.."

"Well they were all wrong. They had no idea what they were giving up by having you off the team"

Michael was about to smile but then he remembers how his coach had told him about how his team didn't want him to be apart of their group anymore. Soccer had been his life back then and to have it all taken away from him just because he was gay just broke him.

"You voted me off, Calum...why are you acting as if you didn't?"

"Because I didn't. I wanted to keep you on the team" Calum said sternly and Michael was about to object to that but then he remembered that there was one person who had voted against kicking him off the team but he never found out who it was.

"You were the one person that didn't vote me off?"

Calum just nodded in response and Michael was still in shock. Maybe Calum didn't hate him as much as he thought.

He wanted to talk to Calum more but the boy was then putting up his wall again and muttering "I have to go" before he was hurrying out the door. Michael was left with so many questions and his appetite was long gone now.

*

When Michael finally made it to lunch he didn't even dare to look over at the table where he knew Calum was but he swore he could feel the boys eyes on him as he made his way over to Luke.

He put his tray on the table before sitting down and Luke was instantly looking up at him and Michael already knew what was coming; sometimes he hated how worried Luke always was about him.

"Where have you been?" the blond boy almost shouted.

"I had to stay after class for a bit" Michael said before sighing. He hated lying but he just didn't want his best friend to know about his job that he was greatly ashamed of.

"Oh...okay" Luke seemed to calm down a bit but then he was perking up and smiling wide.

"Guess who I was talking to last hour"

"Who?" Michael said trying to sound interested as he took a bite of his pizza even though he wasn't even hungry.

"Ashton Irwin" he said in an excited voice but Michael tensed up and he was afraid of what he was going to say next "And he invited me to a party! Can you believe it, Michael? I didn't even know that he knew I existed"

"Cool" michael says dully as he was internally trying to calm himself down. He couldn't believe this was happening.

"He also said that you two hung out. Why didn't you tell me?" Luke sounded straight up sad now and Michael realized that Ashton hadn't forgotten about him and it made him upset.

"Must of slipped my mind" Michael shrugged.

"Come on. I know you have a crush on him" Luke said in a teasing voice like they were still in grade school.

"I do not" Michael spoke sternly.

"Well were going to that party" Luke deadpanned and Michael looked up to glare at him. He had considered going to the party when Ashton had originally asked him but there was no way he wanted to go now.

"No we aren't"

"Michael" Luke whined "Ashton invited me and I told him I'd go"

"Then go by yourself" Michael shot back and he grew worried that he had been to harsh when Luke went silent.

He looked up to see Luke giving him puppy dog eyes and Michael shook his head.

"He wanted me to bring you along. He's a really good guy"

It was then that Michael realized what Ashton was trying to do and he tensed his jaw; Ashton just didn't give up.

"Just please drop it, Luke" Michael used his serious voice so Luke knew he was getting upset and when Michael heard the blond boy let out a sigh he knew he was off the hook with Luke...for now.

*

  
Michael was surprised when he didn't run into Ashton all day but that all came to an end when he was heading to his locker and he saw the familiar curly haired boy standing next to his locker again.

Ashton looked sad now and Michael hated that maybe he was the reason for that. Ashton just had such a beautiful smile and Michael wanted to hit himself for being the reason why it wasn't on his face.

"Hey" Michael spoke shyly as he got closer to Ashton and that smile was slowly developing on his face again and Michael blushed.

"Hi" Ashton spoke, sounding so happy but then he looked to the floor as he started to frown "listen I'm sorry about yesterday. It wasn't any of my business"

"You don't have to apologize. You were just trying to help" Michael was quick to say because Ashton had no reason to feel bad about yesterday. Michael knew he had overreacted and freaked out on the nice boy for no reason.

"So you coming to the party Friday?" Ashton said with a chuckle and Michael shook his head fondly as he started to put his stuff in his locker.

"Yeah that was pretty low of you trying to get to me through my best friend"

"Sometimes you gotta play dirty to get what you want" Ashton said confidently as he leaned his shoulder against the locker next to Michael's.

"I guess" Michael blushed again when he glanced at Ashton smirking at him and he hated how much the boy got to him.

"I don't think I can wait until Friday to hang out with you again so can I see you tonight?"

"What do you want from me?" Michael says weakly because he just wanted to understand why Ashton wanted anything to do with someone like him.

"I like you, Michael. I just want to know you" he said so softly and sincerely and Michael felt his heart beat picking up with his intense stare.

Michael let out a breath then shut his locker.

"But why me? Anyone would be willing to hang out with you"

"Apparently not you" Ashton said with a breathy laugh.

"Yeah just cause I know you could do better than me"

"Kind of a stupid reason to not hang out with someone, don't you think?" Ashton pauses "I don't even know why you think I'm out of your league when it's exactly the opposite"

"No it's not" Michael chuckled and felt his face heat up.

Ashton was stepping closer to him and opening his mouth but then they were getting interrupted.

"Ash! You coming, man?"

Michael recognized the voice and even though Calum had been nice to him earlier he still got upset at the boy for interrupting this moment with Ashton.

"Yeah, I'll be right there" Ashton

Michael briefly looked back to see Calum at the end of the hall looking right at him and Michael was quick to look back at Ashton.

Ashton was looking back to him and Michael guessed that Calum had left.

Ashton smiled at Michael then he was taking a slip of paper out of his pocket and putting it up to the locker as he wrote something on it but the lettering was so small that Michael couldn't read it.

Ashton was then grabbing Michael's hand and opening it to put the paper in his palm and just that simple touch had Michael desperate for more.

"I have practice after school but I always go there at about 1am" he gestures to the paper where Michael guesses there's an address "if you change your mind"

Michael nodded, already agreeing to it and then Ashton was seeming like he was going to say more but instead just pushing his lips together and gently rubbing at Michael's shoulder before he was walking past him.

Michael kept his eyes on the boy until he was out of sight then he was looking back to his hand and quickly opening the note; desperate to read it.

_Angelwood pier_   
_If you don't believe that you're beautiful then I guess I'll just have to keep telling you until you believe it_

Michael couldn't stop smiling as he read it over and over. No one had ever told him that he was beautiful and Michael swears he felt himself falling for the curly haired boy.

  
*

  
Later that night Michael was sitting at the table in the kitchen as Max was at the stove making grilled cheese for them while he kept conversation with Michael about some movie he watched yesterday.

Usually Michael would be listening to what his friend was saying but it was getting closer to 1am and all he could think about was the note that Ashton had given him.

Michael knew that he wanted to go and see the boy but he also knew that Jack would be texting him at any moment telling him to come over and Michael dreaded turning him down cause he's never done it before and he was honestly a bit nervous to see how Jack would react.

As soon as Michael's phone vibrated he sighed because he already knew who it was. He almost considered just ignoring it and then telling Jack later that he had passed out and missed the text but he had a feeling Jack would see right through his lie.

_Jack off (12:52am)_

_You on your way?_

Michael ran a hand over his face because Jack would be expecting him to be there in a few minutes.

He tried to think of a nice way of saying that he wasn't coming and finally settled on a reply.

_Michael (12:55am)_

I can't make it tonight. Sorry

It was vague but it was the truth and Michael sat back in his chair as he waited for Jack's reply.

Michael glanced up to see Max turning up the small TV in the corner of the counter then he was putting a grilled cheese in front of him and sitting across from him and taking a bite out of his own.

Michael wasn't feeling hungry now but he took a few bites out of it anyways.

Michael looked down to his phone just as a text was coming in.

_Jack off (12:57am)_

You're seriously blowing me off? Come on we can play video games and order pizza

Michael internally groaned because it seemed like one of those nights when Jack just really wanted some company but Michael couldn't give in.

_Michael (1:00am)_

I just can't Jack. I'll make it up to you tomorrow. Promise

That must have been good enough for Jack or he was just too mad to respond because 10 minutes went by and Michael finished his sandwich before rushing to his room to change: he was already late and he didn't want Ashton to leave.

Michael started digging through his closet and of course he couldn't find anything worth wearing. He just didn't want to look like a slob when he saw Ashton.

He finally settled on a dark red hoody that had a name of a college on it and he kept his black skinny's on then grabbed a black snapback off his bed.

He examined himself in the mirror and figured he looked good for the occasion considering that he was just going to a pier.

He heard a whistle to his left and Michael rolled his eyes when he saw Max leaning against the doorway.

"You're awfully dressed up for a blowjob date"

"I'm not going to see Jack" Michael said in a grumpy tone and he heard Max gasp dramatically.

He could see the boy waking into his room then sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Please tell me that you're finally going to tell that asshole to fuck off and never see him again"

Michael knew how much Max hated Jack but he also knew that Max thought that Michael deserved to have a better job.

"No just for tonight. I have other plans" Michael said and he knew Max was bummed.

"With who?"

"This guy named Ashton and it's not for money. I'm just hanging out with him"

"Well good. I just hope he's not as asshole too"

"He's a really good guy, Max. Way too good for me"

"Why do you always do that?" Max groaned and Michael turned to face him "You always think that everyone is too good for you"

"I gotta go. I'm already late" Michael said completely avoiding Max's question and waving to him over his shoulder as he left "Don't wait up!" Michael said playfully before grabbing his keys and walking out the front door.

*

  
When Michael got to the pier it had been so long since he’d been here and he sat in his car as he could see a figure at the very end of the dock.

  
He smiled when he saw Ashton toss a few rocks into the water and Michael started to wonder why Ashton always came here; he was hoping that the boy would tell him.

  
Michael got out of the car and started walking down the metal dock with the water crashing below him and as Ashton turned around, surprised at first, and smiled at him Michael was so glad that he bailed on Jack for this.

  
As he got closer Ashton smiled at him and then faced the ocean again and Michael took a seat next to him with their legs dangling off the edge.

He let out a breath and began to wonder if Ashton wanted to talk to him about something in particular or if he just wanted some company.

It wasn't that Michael felt awkward in the silence but he just really wanted to be talking to the other boy right now because honestly Ashton's voice really calmed him and with the perfect temperature and the sound of the waves Michael would feel even better.

"How long have you been coming here?"

Michael watched as Ashton smiled softy then he was fiddling with his hands on his lap.

"Since I moved here. When we first got here we drove right past this place and I knew it would be my favorite spot"

Michael wondered if Ashton loved this place so much because seeing the ocean was so new to him or if he just naturally loved the water because Michael knew that if Ashton wasn't here he wouldn't even find this place that soothing or out of the ordinary.

"I can't even remember the last time I just looked at the ocean, it's been years" when Michael spoke it had Ashton looking over at him and Michael though Ashton's eyes almost looked golden in this light.

He had honestly thought about kissing Ashton ever since he met him but here in this moment the need to kiss him was sky high and Michael was physically holding himself back.

"Whys that?" Ashton seemed really shocked and Michael smiled a bit.

"I don't know, I guess when you live here long enough it just starts to blur in with the rest of the town"

Ashton looked back out into the ocean like he couldntl believe that anyone would ever get sick of looking at it but then he was looking back to Michael and he seemed to be studying his face as he flicked his eyes all over. Ashton's stare alone was making Michael get goosebumps.

"Well I guess I know better than to look away from something so beautiful" Ashton says and Michael feels his heart picking up at how honest Ashton's words are.

Without even noticing he feels himself moving closer to Ashton so that they're thighs are touching and with Ashton looking at him like he is Michael feels his face getting redder by the second and he looks down to his lap to avoid embarrassing himself by telling Ashton how beautiful he is or something like that.   
He decides that since ash is being honest that he will be honest

"I can't stop thinking about that note you wrote me" Michael finds himself saying. Ashton has this way about him that just makes Michael want to be honest with him and he knows that Ashton won't judge him.

He could see Ashton out of the corner of his eye and the boy kicked his feet a little before looking back to Michael.

"Well I meant it" Ashton says softly and Michael's heart flutters again "Hey look at me" Ashton rubs at Michael's arm and Michael looks up with hooded eyes "Do you believe me?"

Michael has had low self esteem even before he started doing sexual favors but it had gotten worse over the years so he knows that he isn't going to believe he's worth something just by hearing someone as beautiful as Ashton tell him that he is.

"I don't know" Michael whispers looking down.

He sees Ashton moving his hand up again but this time Ashton brings it up to rub the backs of his fingers across Michael's cheek and Michael leans into the touch instantly. It had been years since someone has touched him in such a gentle way and Michael is so desperate for it; so desperate to just be cared for and not used.

Ashton must sense that Michael needs the comfort because he goes to cup Michael's cheek and Michael turns to look at him finally.

"Michael come're" Ashton whispers and Michael doesn't even know where Ashton wants him to go because they're already so close but then Ashton is backing up and facing Michael completely as he leans against a pole in the dock and then Ashton is almost shyly smiling at him.

Michael doesn't even hesitate to get in between Ashton's legs and rest his back against the boys chest because he is just so desperate for Ashton's soft touch.

Michael feels chills run over his whole body as Ashton wraps his arms around his shoulders and holds him even closer and Michael honestly didn't even know that it was possible to feel this safe.

"Are you cold?" Ashton almost whispers and Michael feels his breath on his neck.

Michael did feel a bit chilly before but here in Ashton's arms like this he doesn't feel cold at all.

"Not anymore"

Michael feels Ashton lean his forehead against the back of head and he can feel the boy smile.

"How long do you usually stay here?"

Ashton's chuckles and Michael can feel the vibration of it.

"Not too long usually"

"Well how long do you plan on staying here tonight?" Michael had to ask because he didn't want Ashton to have to stay our here for a long time just because he needs attention.

"As long as you need me" he answers and Michael closes his eyes turns to lean his forehead against Ashton's cheek.

"I can't ask you to stay here with me all night" Michael says with a slight laugh, not wanting ashton to think he was serious.

"Did you ever think that maybe I need you too?" Ashton says a bit sternly but still so caring and Michael takes a deep breath. Not even knowing what good thing he did in his life to deserve someone like Ashton.

 

 


End file.
